I really didn't think that I would make a list this year, but I decided that there are definitely some things that I want to improve upon:
1. Apply, even if you don't think you'll get it (I.e., scholarships, jobs, summer research internships)
2. Go to office hours for the classes you know you'll have a hard time with (I.e., physics, calculus)
3. Do all of your homework promptly, passionately, and purposefully (I.e., not shitting out on your Ethics readings and ditching Himalayan religions)
4. Focus on your priorities
5. Internalize the fact that nothing will go exactly as you planned and that's okay because there are other routes to take and ways to achieve your goals
Good luck, me.
Monday, January 13, 2014
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
A stranger in my home
I tried to refrain from admitting this, but I think I've overstayed my welcome in my own house. It's not that my parents don't love me and appreciate me, but it's as if the initial glow of "Wow! I haven't seen you in so long" is gone and now I'm just here.
I always thought it was important for a young adult to get out of the town in which they grew up in so that we could make new memories and have new experiences and find who we are outside the confines of our old mistakes. Since I've been back, I don't know. It feels hollow here, as if the memories I had were last week's dreams. At the same time, I've regressed and found that I've fallen short in every possible fathomable aspect. I don't like it here.
I always thought it was important for a young adult to get out of the town in which they grew up in so that we could make new memories and have new experiences and find who we are outside the confines of our old mistakes. Since I've been back, I don't know. It feels hollow here, as if the memories I had were last week's dreams. At the same time, I've regressed and found that I've fallen short in every possible fathomable aspect. I don't like it here.
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Fire
People argue and you got caught in the midst of crossfire, but they dismiss it and call you collateral damage.
"Don't take it in personally. We didn't mean to hurt you. Sorry."
A few years down the road, you get fucked up real bad and they tell you not to be a pussy. They tell you it's wrong to take your anger out on people you aren't mad at. Whatever. You get asked why you're so fucked up and you really don't know because nobody reconsiders collateral damage.
You start thinking that you're just a naturally fucked up person, doing fucked up shit, because you're a fuck up. Always have been.
Dear world,
This is fucked up. Leave me alone.
"Don't take it in personally. We didn't mean to hurt you. Sorry."
A few years down the road, you get fucked up real bad and they tell you not to be a pussy. They tell you it's wrong to take your anger out on people you aren't mad at. Whatever. You get asked why you're so fucked up and you really don't know because nobody reconsiders collateral damage.
You start thinking that you're just a naturally fucked up person, doing fucked up shit, because you're a fuck up. Always have been.
Dear world,
This is fucked up. Leave me alone.
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