Most times when
you’re growing up, people stop patting you on the back for completing mundane
things. I guess that’s expected. You get a big fucking hurrah for graduating
high school, which really will be the easiest thing you’ll ever do for the rest
of your life. But once you leave that shit hole and enter “adult” world, people
not only stop blowing sunshine up your ass, but they also stop saying nice
things in general. They start seeing you as an inept bitch, something cruising
through the world that they think they earned their place in. People stop
saying nice things, even if what you finished was of enormous worth. You
stopped throwing up. You stopped drinking so much. You stopped slitting your
wrists and popping pills. You’re growing up. Good job. I bet you haven’t heard
that in a long time. All you’ve heard are questions about your major, your job,
and your plans for the great fucking future. Questions and hard, hard
criticisms because no matter what you’re choices or opinions are, they are not “tested”
and “experienced.” Basically, they’re not good enough for anyone anymore. So
you start doubting yourself…You were probably top of your class in high school
or something of that sort. Super smart AP/IB type who took Calculus junior
year. Suddenly all the looks of awe and accolades are gone. You’re just a
fucking child and you’ve been through nothing and you’re self-absorbed and you’re
all these things that 18, 19, and 20 year olds are. They don’t think or seem to
remember what it was like to enter the skeptical world. So here you are, crying
on the floor, looking for that last bottle of vodka somewhere at the
bottom of your closet in your parents’ house.
