After this year, any remnants of fear I felt for failure must absolutely be gone. If I had ever felt afraid of failing, then it must be a long ago memory because I realized today at 4:38 A.M. that I began this year grappling with the prospect of imminent failure multiple times in majoring of Physics.
I don't fear the close explosions of a bad homework grade. I used to hesitate at the top of my pencil, waiting for hours and hours on the blank lined pages. If I knew how easy it was to just start writing and scribbling and doodling what came to mind, then I may be much better off now. The fear gripped my hand and kept it suspended for so long, putting off the fear and the progress and the success.
But now that I think about it, I feared failing. And by default, the options of quitting or trying again. Maybe I was afraid of hard work because I never was a quitter. The woe of being a determined, lazy teenager.
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